


Never Leave You Behind

by kho



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Episode Tag, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-12
Updated: 2016-05-12
Packaged: 2018-06-07 21:52:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6825916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kho/pseuds/kho
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set after the bomb episode, season 3 ep 8 I Ka Wa Mamua, because my God... is this what should have happened.  Their faces.  And later in the season it's so clear that Freddie played a huge part in this episode even though we didn't know it.</p><p>“I can’t stop shaking,” Danny interrupts, lifting his hand to look at it. “I feel so full of… life. Energy. Like it’s bursting at the seams. Like I drank fifteen espressos in one sitting. I feel like I could run a marathon and still have energy. Is that normal? Is this shock? Do I need to lie down?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Leave You Behind

Steve’s feet fall from the table as he jerks at the sound of his door swinging open. Rolling his eyes and reaches over and grabs his beer up off the floor, where he’d kicked it, and throws a towel down on top of the spill. “Would it actually kill you,” he says, picking up the towel with his foot and slinging it across the room into the kitchen, “to knock? Like, actually kill you. Because not knocking, Danny? Actually could get you killed.”

“Figured one near death experience already today meant I was safe,” Danny says, stepping over Steve’s legs and depositing himself on the couch next to him, slapping down a six pack on the table and grabbing himself one. His eyes are bright and his smile is crooked and not completely sitting well on his face and he’s practically vibrating with something. His hand shakes as he twists the cap off of the bottle. “What we watching?”

“What’s wrong?”

“What,” Danny asks, eyes darting quickly to Steve’s and then back to the tv. “Nothing, nothing’s wrong.” He swallows three times like he can’t quite get the mouthful down. “Nice, I love Die Hard. Is this one or two? Three was okay, because I mean, who doesn’t like Samuel L Jackson, but one and two are the best. You know, four wasn’t too bad either-- Did you know Bruce Willis is also a native New Jersian?”

“Danny.” Steve pulls his foot up under him and turns to face him. “Everything okay?”

“No, Steven, no, everything is not…” Danny runs a hand through his hair. “I… Yes, everything is fine. It’s hunky dory. No of course it’s not, of course I’m not okay. I owe Grace a better night of dancing because i was a fucking zombie the entire time because I couldn’t get the image of that fucking bomb out of my head and I couldn’t stop thinking about Grace my partner, and I couldn’t stop…” He stops talking and finally looks at Steve. “Thinking of you.”

Steve feels itchy and like he wants out of his skin under Danny’s scrutiny. “Me.”

“Yeah, you, you big dope,” Danny says, mouth quirking up in a fond half grin. This grin, unlike the one before, is actually at home on Danny’s face. “I can’t believe you stayed.”

“Of course I stayed,” Steve says, feeling pissed at the thought that he wouldn’t have. “I couldn’t just. I wasn’t going to just--”

“I can’t stop shaking,” Danny interrupts, lifting his hand to look at it. “I feel so full of… life. Energy. Like it’s bursting at the seams. Like I drank fifteen espressos in one sitting. I feel like I could run a marathon and still have energy. Is that normal? Is this shock? Do I need to lie down?”

Steve snorts a laugh. “Danny, you’re fine. You had a tough day.”

Danny nods and swallows spasmodically again. “Yeah.” He giggles, that half manic giggle, and Steve smiles in amusement at it. “Yeah, that’s uh. That’s one way to say it.” He clears his throat and swallows the rest of his beer in a few pulls and then grabs another, twisting the cap off and letting it fall on the floor. “Thing is. I’ve… I’ve had near death experiences. I’ve been shot. I’ve almost died before, Steve. Why is this.” He looks at him, chewing on his bottom lip. “Why is this different?”

Steve watches him for a moment, and then settles back on the couch into a more comfortable position, stretching his leg out until his foot butts up against Danny’s thigh. “Because it’s never been like that before for you, Danny. It’s never been this protracted, drawn out thing. I assume. I assume it’s always been… heat of the moment. You were shot, or you went down, or you got knocked unconscious.” He waits until Danny nods. “Because see you’ve never had to actually look at death straight in the eye before and acknowledge that this is happening. Because before by the time it registers you could’ve died, you already know you’re going to be okay.”

“And you have,” Danny says, eyes locked with Steve’s. “Stared at death in the eyes--”

“And said bring it, yes,” Steve says, nodding at Danny. “But that was trained into me Danny. That was drilled into me, over and over and over again. Because there’s going to be moments where you’re gonna be faced with that, and you need to still have your head. You need to still think. Calculate the lowest risk possible, the way for the least amount of catastrophic outcome. There are moments in combat, in war, when you’re going to be looking down the barrel of a gun and have to think, if I dive and save myself is it worth the fallout. And there will be times when the answer to that is no. Most of the time, the answer to that will be no.” He looks away from Danny’s look of horror. “When you’ve stepped on a bomb and you know if you lift your foot you and everybody around you will get blown to smitherines so you gotta stand there and make everyone get back, and then you gotta…” He takes a deep breath. “You gotta say your prayers and say your goodbyes and take your foot off when everyone’s cleared.”

“You saw someone do that, didn’t you,” Danny says quietly, nodding at him and pointing at him with his bottle. “The bomb thing. You saw it.” Steve only nods. “But you didn’t do that today.”

Steve trades out his empty bottle of beer for a full one and takes a swallow before responding. “This wasn’t combat, Danny. And you’re not military.”

“You should’ve, though,” Danny says softly, his hand coming to rest on the shin of Steve’s outstretched leg. “You should’ve left. You were supposed to leave, Steve. I told you to leave.”

“Wasn’t leaving you behind,” Steve says just as softly, not looking at him.

“But you should’ve,” Danny says, voice a bit stronger. Steve looks over at Danny’s hands, clenched around his beer tightly. His knuckles are white. He wonders briefly if Danny will shatter the glass. “Steve, you should’ve. I need you to take care of Grace if I’m not gonna be…” he pauses, and takes a breath, rolling his eyes up. “Look, I just, I need someone that can… Rachel and Stan can take care of her, but I need one of my people, I just I need… I need one of my people to teach her what I need her to… Steve.”

“I get it, Danny, I do, I know what you’re saying, but...” Steve says. “But I can’t, Danny. I can’t just leave you like that. I can’t just walk away. I’m sorry.”

“I need you to though,” Danny says, hand digging into Steve’s shin. “Seriously, I need you to promise me if anything like that ever happens again that you’ll walk away, not be some fucking martyr--”

“No.”

“-- sacrificing yourself to make my last moments calmer or to support me, Steve, that’s fucking stupid.”

“I can’t.” Steve shakes his head and closes his eyes. “I won’t.”

“Steve.”

“No, Danny, end of discussion,” Steve growls.

“End of.” Danny laughs. “I could fucking hit you.”

Steve shakes his head. “Sorry.”

“End of discussion, just like that.” Danny barks out another laugh. “I don’t get you, Steve. Why? Why would you just stand there to get blown up with me? Why would you do that?”

“You needed me,” Steve says finally, opening his eyes. “Danny, I couldn’t leave you there, you needed me!”

“Yeah, yes, I needed you there,” Danny says, hands flailing. “I was out of my fucking mind with fear, and not thinking straight. If I had been I would have told them to drag you away in fucking god damned handcuffs if that’s what it took!”

“I wasn’t leaving you behind, Danny, please, just please, drop this,” Steve pleads.

“Why,” Danny shouts, hand darting out to hit Steve in the shoulder. “Why are you such a stubborn fucking animal, why wouldn’t you just leave me, I asked you to, I needed you to!”

“Because I can’t do it again, Danny,” Steve shouts, angrier and more out of control than even he thought he was. He holds up a hand when Danny starts to speak. “Because I won’t do it again, Danny. Can’t, won’t, will not. Not again.”

Danny’s face falls. “Again.”

“I can’t…” Steve closes his eyes and fists his hand against the strangled quality of his voice, against the way his throat closes up. “I can’t lose another… I won’t lose another fucking…” He huffs out and reaches up to scrub his face. “God damnit, Danny, I can not lose you!”

Danny’s fingers curl around his wrist and Steve let’s him pull his hand down so he can look into his eyes. “Steve?”

“Freddie,” Steve says finally.

Danny nods. “Your buddy that you’ve been working on getting the body back from the Koreans?”

Steve nods. “He was… he was my…”

“I know, babe, he was a good friend of yours.”

“He was more, Danny,” Steve says, looking away. “It’s not just. You don’t just have.” He huffs out a breath of air. “Danny, you don’t just, you’re not just friends when you’ve been through what me and Freddie’d gone through together,” he says quietly. “He was my brother, he was… he was like part of me.”

Danny squeezes Steve’s hand. “I’m sorry.”

“And I haven’t told you the whole… I didn’t tell you the specifics,” Steve says, and knows he won’t be able to hold back the tears if he continues this but feels like he still needs to, like Danny needs to know. Like Freddie deserves to have this told. “We had Anton Hesse, it was me and him, just us, and we got Anton, but he got hit. He went down. He probably would have died even if I had been able to get him out of there,” Steve says, blinking and not bothering to wipe away the first tear that falls. “But we were taking heat and… he said go. He said he was dead weight, I should go, do the mission. I should do the mission. Said I had to leave him.”

“Babe.”

“Said, said to tell his baby he loved her,” Steve says, rolling his eyes up. “She wasn’t even born yet. She’s… God she must be 2 by now. But he said I had to go and covered me… died covering me.” He shakes his head. “He probably would have died anyway, but if I hadn’t left him, Danny. If I’d been able to drag him with me to the truck. If I hadn’t left him.”

“But babe, listen to me,” Danny says, scooting closer, hand tight on Steve’s wrist. “Listen to me because he meant it okay? He fucking meant it. He wanted you to leave him, and he fucking meant it. Because I meant it. And I didn’t push it because… because I’m a fucking coward, okay? I’m a coward and I couldn’t find the strength to make you leave me because you brought me peace and I thought, maybe, maybe if I can just see Steve’s eyes I’m not really going to die here, but…” He shakes his head. “But I would never, ever, want you to die. Not with me, or for me, or instead of me. Not ever. So he meant it.”

“Danny you don’t understand,” Steve says, locking eyes with him. “I love you, man. I can’t lose you too. Losing him was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to… I can’t lose you too. I will not.”

“Okay babe,” Danny says, and then closes that last bit of distance and wraps his arms around Steve and tugs him over to him. “Okay, I’m sorry, I get it.”

Steve stiffens and tries to pull away. “Danny.”

“Shut up, just do me a favor and let me hug you, asshole, I almost died today,” Danny says gruffly, pulling Steve tighter until Steve finally relents and puts his arms around Danny as well. “Love you too, you know.”

“You would’ve liked him, Danny,” Steve says, closing his eyes and letting Danny’s hug wash over him. “He was wide open and his smile lit up the entire fucking room.”

“All I need to know is you loved him, that’s enough for me to love him too babe,” Danny says, rubbing his hand down Steve’s back and back up again. “I’m honored to mean half as much to you.”

“No,” Steve says, pulling back abruptly, putting his hands on Danny’s shoulders. “No, no, Danny, not half… Danny you mean as much to me…” He swallows and looks down. “Danny you mean more to me than you know.”

“I think I may,” Danny says, tilting Steve’s head up to look at him. “Did you… were you and he…”

Steve shakes his head. “But I… I loved him, Danny. We were… There wasn’t time, it wasn’t the right time, time gets away from you Danny. It slips away from you.”

Danny nods, squeezing Steve’s shoulder. “I know babe.” He looks up into Steve’s eyes and licks his lips and Steve struggles to breathe. “You know I… I feel, for you, Steve, you know I--”

Steve curls his fingers in Danny’s shirt and pulls him forward, crushing his mouth to his. It’s not the most comfortable position in the world, and his leg’s been twisted between them for ten minutes now through the hug and everything else, but God it feels good to finally have those lips under his. “Are you sure?”

“No,” Danny says, letting out a shaky laugh. “No, I’m never sure, I will always second guess everything, but yes, yes I’m sure I want you, yes I’m sure I love you.”

“Do you,” Steve whispers against Danny’s neck, hand wandering down Danny’s chest because now that he’s touched him he can’t stop himself. “You love me?”

“God yes, isn’t it obvious by now,” Danny breathes, fingers wrapping around the back of Steve’s neck as he takes a shaky breath. “I came here, Steve, I came here tonight because I just wanted to… I needed to.” He lets out a breath as Steve’s hands slide down his torso. “And I got cold feet but I wanted to, so bad, Steve, I wanted to make a move, find out if… just see if…”

“Come upstairs with me, Danny,” Steve says, biting Danny’s neck, sliding his hand beneath Danny’s shirt to the warm skin beneath. Licking a stripe up Danny’s neck he smiles as Danny shivers lightly. “I want you in my bed.”

“Too far away,” Danny moans, hands plucking at Steve’s soft cotton Navy shirt before he lifts a hand to direct Steve’s mouth back to his. “Here, now, Steve, just,” he says, and kisses him, opening his mouth to Steve’s tongue.

“If you insist,” Steve says with a laugh, and then shoves Danny back away from him and comes over the top of him, pushing him down into the couch and lowering on top of him. “Can do this here. Can do this anywhere you want, Danny.”

“Take your shirt off, wanna feel you,” Danny says, voice desperate in a way that sends a shiver up Steve’s spine as he pulls up to let Danny yank on his shirt, reaching down to yank on Danny’s own, pulling it out of his dress pants and unbuttoning it.

It’s sloppy work, jerking here and there to get Danny’s shirt off of him, and Danny winds up with an arm pinned underneath him and Steve laughing but eventually they’re both shirtless and Danny’s hands feel so good and warm on him and Steve never knew he had a thing for Chewbacca chests but damned if he doesn’t have one for Danny’s.

Danny makes the most delicious sound when Steve grinds down on him, fitting his cock up against Danny’s through their clothes, somewhere between a sigh and a moan, and Steve makes it his mission to make Danny make that noise as often as humanly possible. He winds his tongue in Danny’s mouth and presses down against him and swallows that sound, wants to live in it.

Danny pushes at Steve’s sweats and boxers, delves his hands beneath the waistband and pulls Steve down on top of him harder, digging fingers into Steve’s asscheeks and making Steve buck against him in anticipation of everything he wants to do to Danny. He reaches between them and unzips Danny’s slacks and gets his hand in there, moving Danny’s underwear to the side to wrap his hand around Danny’s cock and loving the way Danny’s breath stutters against his cheek as he rips his mouth away when he does.

“You’re so hard for me, Danny,” he says against the hollow of Danny’s throat, licking the tendon in his neck, worrying it with his teeth. “Love the way you feel.”

“God shut up, keep talking,” Danny pants, yanking Steve’s pants down, bringing up his foot to hook into the waistband, using it to pull the pants the rest of the way down. He digs his fingers into Steve’s hips, practically growling as Steve slowly begins to stroke him. “Come on Steve, fuck, take my pants off already, just get us naked.”

“So impatient,” Steve says, but he sits up and back, unbuttoning Danny’s pants and slowly pulling them off, Danny lifting his ass off of the couch for him to pull them off. He takes the underwear off at the same time and he means to maintain eye contact, he does, but he can’t help but watch the way Danny’s cock juts out at him, big and beautiful and dripping for him. For him.

“Get down here,” Danny growls, and pulls Steve by the neck back down on top of him, crushing their lips together as Danny slides his hands down Steve’s back, nails scratching down in a deliciously slow path that makes Steve shudder under his touch. “I couldn’t get you out of my head all night, Steve, this, I wanted this so bad, all night I kept thinking about this.”

Steve wraps his fingers around Danny’s cock and kisses him, languorous and slow, before he starts to move his hand, pumping him slow, spreading around the precome. “You were in a gymnasium surrounded by kids and you couldn’t stop thinking about me, grinding naked against you on the couch?” He quirks an eyebrow at him and grins. “Not appropriate, Danno.”

“God, just shut up,” Danny says, reaching down and sliding his fingers up Steve’s cock, loving the way Steve shivers at his touch. “Not that, not you naked, though, I’m not complaining.”

Steve laughs and starts pumping Danny faster, running his fingers over the head of Danny’s cock, licking his lips as he watches Danny’s eyes fall shut. “That’s good, I’d be a little hurt if you were.”

“Just you,” Danny says softly, opening his eyes again, reaching up a hand to brush over Steve’s face, thread back into his hair, slide down to his neck and pull him forward. “Just me and you. Want that. Us.”

“Hey,” Steve says, quietly, leaning forward to leave his forehead against Danny’s, closing his eyes and breathing in the scent of him. “Me too, okay? Just us.”

 


End file.
